I was raised in home where my parents were married. They still are. I had a couple of friends who’s parents were divorced, one saw her dad every other weekend, and one that saw her dad all the time because her parents got along so well. I would never see how hurt a dad or child could be only seeing each other every other weekend, until I married Devyn.
Devyn is such a great dad. He craves time with his kids. But, he has the usual agreement of every other weekend and with holidays on odd years. This summer we were graciously given a whole week, after mom’s lawyer advised her to. But, before that, he had the kids not one minute after five on Sunday. No extra time. No weekends switched. Strict on the parenting agreement.
I try to imagine my life in the kids shoes. I don’t like doing it. I love my mom and dad equally. I need both of them equally. God created man and women to have a child together. Each person has something special to give to a child. Why should dad get so little time now?
Divorce is so common now. Half brothers and sisters and step mom and step dad and step grandparents and step cousins all added everyday. What does it do to a child to see parents broken up, to date new people, to marry, to have new kids together? I think I would feel like I didn’t belong. Mom had kids with step dad, I feel out of place. Dad got married, I have to share my time now, I feel out of place. I belonged to one couple who became separate people, only to become a couple again with someone new, someone who didn’t create me.
The kids crave time with Devyn. Every weekend we hear, “I wish we had more time here.” They love their dad, they need their dad. And dad loves and needs them too.
A friend of mine now has her own little family. She comes from a divorced home where mom was strict with the parenting agreement. Not one minute extra with dad. She still holds a grudge against mom. Maybe I could even get her to write a guest post on the subject.
I’m writing this to vent, to support men only lawyers, to support dads who love their kids, and to maybe open a mom’s eyes. You may be trying to get back at your ex- or maybe just like your time with the kids. But please don’t be stingy. Be open to extra time with dad, especially when kids are asking for it. In the end, you’re not just hurting dad like you might have hoped, you are hurting your kids, and hurting yourself by causing resentment in your kids.
Please comment! Tell me your good and bad experiences with divorce. Lets’s be open. You may need to let out some steam too.
-Hannah the Narcoleptic.